Breeder thinks he’s hot – but he’s not

thug_life_b1Breeder is back from a trip and he can’t stop talking about the “girl” he was “talking to” in a bar while he was there. He told me he had 3 beers and was drunk and started dropping his phone while he was talking to her. He’s telling the mumbly kid how she was young and he’s just carrying on telling Mumbly their whole conversation in the bar. He thinks he’s such a stud, and he’s sooooo not. He’s a 43 year old Breeder with no muscle tone, a live-in gf with 4 kids, one of them his, and several other kids with other women in another state, a very balding head, and he talks like an uneducated 17 year old street thug. What a catch!

Getting back at Ape

mcdonalds-mccafe-drink-beverage_largeApe decides to go to McDonald’s this morning and says he is getting breakfast for himself and the guys, and do I want anything. So I say I want a small coffee, and I give him a dollar. He comes back with a large coffee for me.

He says: I got myself a large, so it was just easier to get 2 large.

I say: Ok (even though I do not want a large).

Then he says: So you can just toss in another dollar… I’m not worried about it today, just whenever you have it… Well you know what? Even better, just hang onto it, and then if I’m short one day and need it, I’ll just get it then.

(Seriously?!?!)

I said: I’m not giving you another dollar.

He says: What? Well ok fine that’s fine but the large coffee is at least a dollar more.

I said: I didn’t ask for a large coffee, I asked for a small, which is what I paid you for… But I tell you what, I’ll just drink 1/2 of it then give you the rest.

He says: What? No I don’t want it, I already have one. Just forget it, just forget it.

I said: Well I’m going to Taco Bell later today (I’m not really), so do you want anything?

He says: NO! (like he’s all pissed)

I said: Well I’ll get you something anyway, then I’ll let you know how much it costs, but you don’t have to pay me today, you can wait until Monday.

He says: You know I was trying to do something nice by getting everyone breakfast. Just keep the dollar, Anna, I don’t care.

Ape’s new face

Man

Much better looking than Ape.

Things are weird at my work today. Really? No kidding? Yes indeed.

Ape came in about an hour ago and said he’d been at the dentist. Then he must have forgotten he told me that, because then he said he had Restylane in his forehead. I am cracking up that this 40-year-old loser that calls his mom to bring him lunch is having these procedures. I wonder if he will look less like an ape?

I couldn’t find Breeder to fill out some paperwork, then Gump tells me: he’s on the lobby couch sleeping.

WTF!

Elevator idiot

IMG_0473Everything in this building is breaking. The elevator hasn’t been working for months. Then the elevator “repair” guy comes – a different guy from last time but with the same company. He tells me there’s nothing wrong with the elevator and people must not be pushing the buttons hard enough.

I said: WHAT?? So you’re saying when you’re riding in the elevator and it slams to a stop and the doors won’t open and you can’t get out and the elevator won’t move, that you think it’s because someone didn’t push a button hard enough?! Is this a joke?

He said: It’s working fine.

I said: I think the elevator stopped for you on the first floor.

He didn’t get it.